Oh my goodness my tummy has been nervous today. Every time I breathe in I get a little flutter of butterflies dancing around. Today I have sent out the pre-order announcement email to a mailing list of people who said they were interested in my ebook (part book, part workbook and part course) called Journaling Your Goals. The book isn’t yet finished, although it is coming together nicely, but I wanted to put it out on pre-sale so people could order with a significant discount.
This is the biggest and scariest step outside of my comfort zone I’ve taken in a while. It even tops the podcast interview I did last week (although that, too, was incredibly scary). I sat looking at my computer screen for a few minutes before I pressed the send button on the email, my eyes partially shut when I finally did it.
Now I’ve done a lot of scary things in my writing career. I’ve started a blog and joined a group of writers, I’ve approached a website and become a columnist, I’ve pitched magazines, I’ve gone on writing camps where I had to meet new people, I’ve been mentored, I’ve written incredibly personal pieces and sent them live, I’ve created a YouTube channel and talked directly to camera, I’ve done sponsored post opportunities that meant travel and, again, meeting new people, I’ve written and sent proposals to literary agents and publishers. All of these things scare me. But it’s the writing ones that scare me the most.
There’s something so nerve-racking about someone reading your words. Writing allows people, strangers for the most, to get a glimpse into your personality, into your soul. There is something so intimate and personal about it. Blog posts, essays, books. Even those with a business-type tone still express something about the author.
Today sending out an email telling people that I have something for sale was scary on another level. Not only are they reading my writing but I am trying to encourage them to buy something I have created. There are three words going round and around my ahead. Value for money. I must provide value for money. I am desperate to ensure I don’t come across as a sleazy sales person but simply that I want to share something that has made an incredible difference to my life and will hopefully make a difference to theirs, too. It comes from the heart and the best of intentions. It’s scary to think people are reading my words on that email. But it becomes extra scary when you add the exchange of money for your creativity.
So I’m writing this for those of you who are at the beginning of your writing or creative journey. When you look at creatives who have been doing this a while and they have a beautiful blog design or they seem to write effortlessly or announce they have a new book or a course for sale. It might look slick or professional but behind it is a quaking mess of anxiety.
Yes, writing a blog post for me now is pretty much a doddle. I am used to baring my creative soul on the internet on a regular basis. But I know for newcomers it is hard to send that first post live. Really hard. You have so many questions or scenarios in your head, you picture the world ending - or, at least, your world ending once you’ve pressed that publish button. Sometimes it can take a person weeks before they pluck up the courage. But the reality is, once you’ve pressed it and reappear from your safe hiding place some hours later, you realise the sky hasn’t fallen in and the world is continuing to turn at the same beat.
So you write another blog post. And again you feel the terror before pressing publish. But you eventually do it and all is well. After a number of times doing this you feel far more relaxed about pressing send. You no longer hide underneath the table once it is live and free for the world to read. And pretty soon you’re thinking of your next challenge. And when that next challenge goes live the anxiety and nerves reappear once more. And on it goes. Each time you accomplish something, you get used to it, then plan something else out of your comfort zone. Each step you take out of the zone is scary. But each step you take is also exhilarating. And each time you make that step you have to take a moment to reflect and remind yourself just how far you have come.
This lunchtime I am sitting here writing this and quietly congratulating myself on doing yet another scary project. Yes the book hasn’t been finished but sending out that pre-order announcement email was a huge step for me. And now I have orders coming in I am committed to finishing that book by when I said I’ll finish it. There’s no getting out of it now.
From creating my blog all those years ago (nearly fourteen years) I have come a long way. But the scary feeling that came when I sent my first blog, Redders’ Ramblings, live still appears now. That fear is still there where you’re worrying you’ve written something wrong or made a big mistake or people will laugh at you. As long as you keep pushing yourself out of your comfort zone that fear doesn’t go away. And it shouldn’t go away. Having that fear is your way of knowing that you’re pushing yourself. You are striving for more. And you are getting closer towards your creative ambitions.
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To find out more about my ebook, Journaling Your Goals, and to order at a specially discounted price then click here.
The Podcast interview I referred to is this one. It’s all about creative confidence and how social media can directly impact it.
If you enjoyed this blog post post you might also enjoy my essays about writing, confidence, creativity and being online on Patreon.
I also write tiny essays in my newsletter which I send out about twice a month.