Normally I dread summer. The memories, the anxiety, the blasted flies. It's not a season I anticipate with joy.
But this year, it has been different. The memories are still there; losing a wonderful friend suddenly will never be forgotten. But the years carry on and the hurt and sadness is soothed by time.
And I've learned to take time out. To ease down my work; to not suddenly stop which allows the demons to seep into my mind.
And the flies. They're attic flies and love our house. Apparently they keep coming back to the same place every year to hibernate. They might be a different generation of flies every time but they follow a flight path. Clever. But oh so infuriating as my kitchen could host a party of fifty or sixty of the blighters a day. The loft has been zapped and the flies are on the retreat - still here but in single figures rather than double.
So the three things I dread about summer are easing and this year - well, it's actually been rather lovely. A holiday in Fuerteventura (it was hot despite the footage in the film below), the hatching of the ducklings and watching them grow into adults, my daughter trying out go-karting, cooking, baking, harvesting. And the athletics in London last weekend where we saw Mo's last race, Usain Bolt, and the wonderful Great British & NI relays. The noise in the stadium was incredible.
I listened to Marian Keyes on the Desert Island Discs podcast a few days ago and she recalls dancing with her husband on 31st August because the following day is September 1st.
I can relate. Autumn is next. My favourite season.
How is your summer? Do you look forward to it or dread it like me?
The following is a short video of my summer so far: