My Summer Story

Normally I dread summer. The memories, the anxiety, the blasted flies. It's not a season I anticipate with joy.

But this year, it has been different. The memories are still there; losing a wonderful friend suddenly will never be forgotten. But the years carry on and the hurt and sadness is soothed by time. 

And I've learned to take time out. To ease down my work; to not suddenly stop which allows the demons to seep into my mind. 

Fourteen Years on from PND

My son was fourteen last week.

Let's pause for a minute there.

Four-teen years old.

One minute I was worrying about him starting school, shedding a few tears as I walked away from the school gates, and the next, he's a strapping teenager about to start year 10 and gearing up to GCSEs.

Setting aside the fact I can still remember taking my own GCSEs I'm a bit shocked that I'm a mum to a six-foot boy, a young man who can rest his chin on the top of my head.

If only I'd known he would be a strong, independent, healthy, intelligent young man twelve to fourteen years ago. During those two years I suffered from depression after suffering from PTSD related to birth trauma. A bittersweet time (mainly bitter) that shrouded me in guilt for a long time during and after. Thinking I'd scarred him for life.

How to make a blackberry & apple crumble

We have swiftly arrived at one of my favourite times of year. Harvest time. The tractors and combines are out in the fields all around us, rumbling past our house at all times of the day. Gradually they're changing the colour of the landscape as they cut the barley or the wheat and fill tractors with their precious bounty. Then the ploughs come out and turn the stubble back into the earth and the fields become brown once more.

Sharing stories & being brave

I've always enjoyed telling my chicken and nature stories on my blog but I got distracted by 'niching' and 'writing for an audience' instead of simply telling the tales I wanted to tell.

Whilst I was on my holiday last week I had that time away from my laptop and thought about how I wanted to spend my online time. And I knew it was by sharing stories about my chickens, ducks, writing, reading, baking - so that's what I'm going to concentrate on.

Share the blog love

I'm winding down for a few weeks of summer rest and recuperation. I think this is so important. Not only for your own creativity, allowing your mind to switch off, wander, allowing sparks of imagination to come out of nowhere, but also mentally. It's not possible to just keep going all of the time. And I've learnt that the hard way.

But before I take some time away I wanted to talk about blogging. It's following on from my last two posts, really, where I spoke about writing what you want to write, not worrying about 'niching down' and ignoring the experts who are telling you to do one thing with your blog when your heart is telling you to go another way.